Bridget Jones Diary - Universal Pictures, 2001 |
"Why is that so many unmarried women in their 30s these days, Bridget?"
Lately I have been living many "Bridget Jones" moments, with the difference that I'm already older than she is in the first book, which only makes these moments even more awkward. One of these days, someone who recently met me (and with whom I never had any conversation about my private life) suddenly asked: "so, the reason you're single is because you only met bad people in your life?". Let's be clear: the question was solely based on the fact that I'm 37years old, single and without kids (because in the person's way of thinking, somehow, having kids means you found someone "good" at some point. Aham...). Without giving much consideration to the reply since I was caught off guard and I couldn't believe my ears, my immediate response was "no, that's not it". Was this this question for real?
The days passed and I kept wondering why do people assume that if you're single is because you only met jerks? It made me think about the few people in my life with whom I had a relationship and I'm glad to say that I have been, basically, "jerk free". I haven't had many relationships in life: only two short lived and two that lasted for some years. Of course all of them had their ups and downs, but all of them left good memories, even the most difficult of them had good moments and those are the ones worth cherishing.
Everyone has their own issues, I certainly have mine. Relationships have their own issues, and it's only natural to try to work them out. Some are easier, some are harder; over time, some can become easier, others more difficult, that's just how life is. I would never blame the other part for being single in my late 30s.
I had two wonderful relationships, if none of them progress further and end up in marriage is because it was not the right moment, but it never meant that it was because the other person was bad. Relationships are two way streets and I was lucky to meet some incredible and unforgettable people that will be forever in my heart.
So, my answer for that weird question is: I'm single because I am. Life doesn't always happens according to our plans, more often than not it's exactly the opposite, but that doesn't mean I'm not happy. My happiness is not conditioned to being in a relationship, but in being in peace with who I am. And, if someday, someone comes along and the relationship progresses to marriage and family, yes, it will be nice, but it will not be "the" sole factor of happiness in my life, it will simply be an addition to what is already good.
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