Christmas

     Say what you want, but I love Christmas traditions. Decorations in every corner of the house, special menu and the happiness of assembling the pine tree. Yes, I love it all!
   

 As a child Christmas was at Grandma's house in southern Brazil. For me it was more than Christmas, it was magic. The tree in the corner of the room seemed the biggest and most beautiful that existed! And although we did not have that traditional supper, the night's menu was different. Delights especially made ​​for the occasion spread across the table. It was so nice to see the face of my grandpa lit by the candles on the pine tree and the love he felt for the women in his life: my grandmother, mother, aunt , and we, the four granddaughters. It was a special day: we played in the street with the other neighborhood children, a day to sleep late (or at least later than usual), the expectation about the beautifully wrapped packets awaiting us. Not even the heat of summer nights in Rio Grande do Sul took away the magic of what was, for me, the best night of the year.

A special menu even if just for one.

     My whole life I dreamed that one day I would have my whole house decorated, like in a movie, and, if possible, snow outside the window. Yes, always dreamed of those movie kind of Christmas. This year I will have the first white Christmas of my life. Very white! On the balcony of the bedroom there's more than 60cm of snow and even if no more falls over until the 24th, it won't melt, Christmas will be white, white!
     The house is not yet fully decorated like in my dreams, not for lack of wanting... but the tree is here, making me smile. On the day I left to buy a pine tree, I was going back home bringing in the cart a living small tree when snow started to fall. The first snow of this winter. A smile spread across my face. I can not even explain the satisfaction of carrying the greatest symbol of Christmas (at least for me) under the beautiful snow fall. It seemed that it made all the ​​sense in the world!
     I know it may sound silly to many, but each of us have our own dreams and their importance is personal. My dream Christmas is still a little heat inside the house, with many smiles and hugs, a table full of special treats made ​​for a special day, a house fully decorated, a big beautiful Christmas tree and a very white world  outside the windows.

Winter preparations

Coming from a tropical country, I had no idea that people prepared for winter. As you all know, I spent a year in Berlin, a city that is said to have a terrible winter for tropical standards. But there the season was less intense and definitely less white.

A few weeks ago I began to notice differences in the landscape of Montreal. People were getting ready for the snow that will inevitably come at some point. I have not seen such preparations in Berlin. Maybe because the incidence of snow is lower, but the fact is that the only difference I saw there was people changing normal tires for winter tires and fountains being covered by wooden fences. Here in Montreal is different.
I live in a good residential area with many houses and buildings with only three apartments. Maybe that's why it was easier to observe people's behavior during the change from summer to autumn, and now for the winter. One day, walking down the street, I realized that a house had a kind of a white tent coming out of the driveway. Later I learned it's called a temporary winter garage. I found it strange. On the following weekend almost all houses and buildings had these same garages. The funny things are the basement apartments, the apartment entrance is surrounded by a tent and it seems that you are entering into a scenario of movies like "Outbreak ". Plants are protected, stairs receive rubber flooring, handrails and floors of balconies are exchanged and where they didn't exist, placed.
     When the snow finally shows up, it's possible to perceives other things. In buildings, each person is responsible for snow removal on their own balcony and in the public areas the responsibility lays on the person in charge of the building (i.e. the landlord). In houses, of course, each one deals with snow as they like. In front of my bedroom window there's a beautiful house where an old couple lives. Everyday that snows a red car arrives around 9:00, and from it comes out a guy "armed" with shovel, broom and a type of wheelbarrow made ​​especially for snow. He cleans the house entrance, the path to the sidewalk, the garage, shakes the top of the temporary winter garage and cleans the exit from the garage to the street. Then he drives away.
I never saw him talking to the home owners, I think he is a person hired to do this service for those who are tired of doing it for many years.
      So far I have not seen a difference in the behavior of Montrealers simply because the season has changed, as it's visible in Berlin. Here, there is no seasonal bipolarity. I keep seeing the smiles on the streets, happy people tidying up gardens, doors and windows for Christmas, and kids jumping at each and every mound of snow that appears on their way. Neighbors greet each other, play, laugh out loud and share coffee while removing snow from the front of their homes. On the streets, pedestrians look at each other and laugh because they are only with their faces uncovered (and many times only their eyes). Strangers cross your way and say with a smile on their faces: " froid , huh?". And me? Simply loving it all.

Tschüß, Berlin!

     Exactly 368 days ago I arrived in Berlin and today I finish my days in this city that hosted me for a year .
     No. I won't miss the sad days, the difficulty to make friends, the emotional weight that has hurted in different ways and at various levels. I also will not miss the "bipolarity" that affects the population when the seasons change. Or the obligation that others impose to you to go to out on the streets simply because it's sunny .

     No. I will not miss the many tears shed and the pain that grieved my heart and tormented my thoughts for months. I will not also miss the darkness that came over me and the weight I carried on my shoulders for so long.
     But yes, I cry . I weep for what I wish it had been, what I wished I had lived, but that could not be.
     I understand the cycles of the universe and I believe that, just as in nature, in life also after winter comes spring. And my inner soil is fertile ground for its arrival. It was a long and dark winter.
    Berlin was a place where I learned a lot, especially about myself. Many strange things happened here, in every way. But also extremely good things. So... yes, will miss it.


     I will miss the silence of the city, the colored leaves covering the sidewalks during autumn, the slippery paths full of "stracciatella icecream" in winter. Yes, I will miss spring. The most exuberant, colorful and fragrant spring I have ever seen.
     I'll miss the tulips that sprout in unexpected places, dandelions covering every bit of green grass and turning everything into a yellow carpet, the thousands of wildflowers in a variety of colors and the most amazing perfumes. I'll miss the clouds of seeds being blown away, and the less fortunate seeds that instead of land to settle, cling into cotton and wool of the clothes of people passing by. The flowering balconies. The fresh wind when cutting short the way home through the many city parks and the many shades of green found in the trees, ivy and shrubs.
     I'll miss the sweet, soft and fragrant strawberries that melt in the mouth like little pieces of paradise . Raspberries and their exact measurement between sweet and tart . The dark and giant cherries. The "flat peaches" and their perfume.
   

     But what Berlin brought me that  was most important and special, was the opportunity to spend incredible days alongside more than important people in my life.


Berlin provided a historic reunion with two people who have a permanent place in my heart .






To be here, my mother overcame extremely difficult moments for her, and finally came up to the old "divided city" to rescue her German half. And tt was here that we met once again our soul brother.





I received more visits from my father than I expected.







Here a dear friend gave me the pleasure of seeing her a few times.



I had the privilege to introduce the city to the most amazing niece and goddaughter someone could have ask heaven for.








     Here I made a very good friend that, although we don't have a picture together, will always remain in my heart. And some friends with whom I had the pleasure to share funny Brazilian stories.

     So I finish one more cycle of life and from it let only the good times remain. Thanks to the nature and incredible lucky I am to have such wonderful people in my life, I'll take those memories with me, and when I think of the time spent here, these are the moments that will come to mind. For the photographs of the heart, are the ones that really count. And now it's time for a new chapter.


(Text written in August 21st, 2013.)